Author: kateheartsong

 

Self-confidence is an important foundation for all areas of our lives.

Self-confidence:

– impacts how we interact with others and how we relate to ourselves

– effects how we perform at our jobs or our own business

– is responsible for how easy or hard we experience life changes

– gives us our ability (or inability) to step outside of our comfort zone and try new experiences

– and more

We all benefit from having a healthy level of self-confidence, whether it’s the type of self-confidence that’s related to self-esteem, related to making life changes, or the confidence related to self-efficacy (the level of confidence you have regarding receiving results from the effort you put out).

Building self-confidence and maintaining this is all an inside job.  It’s up to you to take effective action steps such as learning and using tools and processes.  Be willing to take the bull by the horns.  No one else can do it for you!  In this, and the future confidence articles, I’ll be sharing some valuable tools for you to use.

Some of the symptoms of low self-confidence include frequently saying sorry, feeling depressed, having self-doubt, making mistakes and covering them up so others don’t think bad of you or asking for something you want.

So, you may be asking “How can I raise my self-confidence”?  Well, one of several effective ways is to create a more positive and better belief about yourself.   This is done through affirmations and visualizations, and are much more effective when you feel the emotions that are associated with the new beliefs you want to create.

You’re invited to discover a process that I call “The Feeling Process”. This will help you build your self-confidence:
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1) Become aware of what belief or behavior you want to change.

Example:  Have less self-criticism

2) Create a replacement belief or behavior and then create a visual representation and/or an affirmation

Example:  The replacement behavior is: Use more positive self-talk.

Visualize a big beautiful red heart that represents positively talking to yourself instead of criticizing yourself.

3) Now imagine this visual representation and/or say the affirmation, and at the same time, feel the emotion of how it feels to have this new belief or behavior.  Just use your imagination and make believe.  Have fun with this! It’s best to do this for a few minutes or more.

Example:   Visualize the big beautiful red heart coming lovingly towards you.  With intention, feel the emotion of love and appreciation absorbing you.  This emotion can be invoked by thinking of a loved one or remembering a positive experience.

Say positive statements such as “I appreciate you!”

You’ll benefit by doing this daily several times a day.  The more you do this, the better.  It has a cumulative effect too!  So, if this process resonates with you, use it. You’ll love the benefits you receive!

There are other processes and tools that you can use to build your confidence; you’ll learn another one in the next blog. You’ll also discover that it’s through conditioning that creates your self-confidence.

Here’s to your confidence, joy, empowerment and fun!

5 Signs You Have Low Self-Confidence

 

1. You’re afraid someone will find out about a little mistake – When a person has low self-confidence, they don’t want others to think badly of them, and one way this is demonstrated is a fear others will find out they made a mistake.

 

2. You don’t like to take a chance on doing something that’s outside your comfort zone – One reason for this is because you’re afraid you might fail, and that hurts your already low self-esteem or confidence.

 

3. You’re afraid to share your opinion – Because, if you do, you’re afraid someone may not like it, and you don’t want rejection.

 

4. You’re a people pleaser – You do your best to be sure others like you, because, again, you don’t want to be rejected.

 

5. You’re self-critical – You tend to beat yourself up, berate yourself, and just overall have negative self-talk.

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See below for two tools to assist you in gaining a higher level of self-confidence, and also be sure to look for next month’s article!.

 

What you can do about raising your self-confidence.

 

1. Start appreciating the skills and gifts you have! Take an inventory of these, then sincerely feel some appreciation for yourself, several times a day.  This has a magic way of building more “feel good” feelings about what you already have, which then helps you realize you DO have value!

 

2. Become aware of how you talk to yourself. You may be surprised to see how often you have negative language. Choose to use positive self-talk instead.   Certainly this may be easier said than done, but AWARENESS is the key!  Once you are aware, then you can easier change the old habits of self-criticism, and replace with more positive self-talk.

I would love to hear your comments.  Feel free to share here with us!

 

 

It’s absolutely necessary (and NOT egotistical!) to know your value and also your contribution to your family and friends, to your community and also to the whole of humanity!  You’re an important and needed piece of the puzzle of humanity.  Building your self-confidence will support you knowing and living this.

We all have our own personal piece of the puzzle, with our unique combination of gifts and skills and personality traits.  This contributes to the intricacies of the whole, whether it’s the whole of a community we live in, the whole of our family or the whole of the planet.

There is a synergy that emerges as a result of all people interacting with one another, where they’re showing up contributing their own pieces of the puzzle.  Building our self-confidence, getting to know ourselves better and honoring who we are assists in claiming our knowing that we are an important component of all life.  This is also a great way to better understand that we’re all interconnected with each other and with all of life.

Claim your greatness and continue to build your self-confidence!
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Your comments are valuable.  Share with us here your thoughts on this article.

 

 

Share your comments here with us!

Up until about twenty years ago, I used to beat myself up all the time.  I’d be so critical of myself when I’d make a mistake, or I’d think I didn’t say the right thing, or I regretted making a decision, or I didn’t have confidence to make the changes I wanted to make.   Can you relate?  Most of us can.

Well, think about it:   how does self-criticism make you feel?  You feel worse, right?!  And it doesn’t take away the mistake, or the regret or the not-making-the-right-decision scenario.

So, what do you do?!  Well, start being kind and also compassionate with yourself.  Yes, learn from your mistake and do what you can to avoid it in the future.  Realize that the decision you made was what you felt was the best at that time.  Learn to live in the present moment, after all you can’t change the past!  And you can worry about the future, but that doesn’t do any good either!
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Also, if you feel you need to forgive yourself, then do.  Forgiving yourself demonstrates to yourself that you’re able to deal with your life’s issues, and shows that you can move beyond that which you’re forgiving yourself for.  You’ll feel better, lighten the load, and another benefit is that you’ll have  increased confidence.  Now that’s an empowering thought, isn’t it?!  Share your comments here.  I’d love to hear your wisdom!

Here’s to your confidence, authenticity and joy!

Changing Perspective by Calming Down

Just last week, when I tried to upload an audio I just finished and realized it was too large to upload to my contractor for adding music to it, I found myself fearful.  Ah!  What a great time for me to practice what I preach!

I observed my being nervous about not knowing how to make the file smaller.  Then I remembered the week before receiving advice from a friend on how to make an audio file smaller.   But I thought, I don’t know how to do this within iTunes.   So, I stepped away from the computer, into my mediation chair.  I got myself centered and meditated for about five minutes and calmed down and also told myself encouraging words.

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I was in a much better perspective and felt that I can do this, so I went into ITunes, and woh la!  Wow!  In no time, I figured out how to make the audio smaller!  YEA!  I successfully uploaded the audio file to my contractor and he’s now adding beautiful music to the meditation portion of this audio.

What a powerful reminder to calm down and get centered, so we can approach something from more confidence and courage!

Ahh!   Spring time is here!  You’re probably as excited as I am about this!  It’s a time of rebirth, creativity and planting seeds for our lives.  It can be a time of being inspired for new ideas and planting seeds for new growth in our lives.  One of those seeds can be discovering a new tool or strategy for gaining confidence to make the change in your life you’ve been putting off, or feel stuck about.

So, here’s a tool for you:  Write down three action steps you can start taking to go towards that change you desire to make. You see, there’s something quite powerful in the act of writing.  It allows you to see the words you’ve written, and it helps to clear your mind.  And, by writing down action steps, you assist yourself in setting an intention.

Another useful tool to use is to tap into your intuition.

Inner guidance, our intuition, always steers you in the right direction and what better way then to encourage yourself into taking action towards that big project or career change?  When you take action and see that it works out, you build efficacy.  You gain confidence that yes, you CAN achieve what you take action on.

When you listen and follow your inner guidance, you’re better equipped to be in alignment with who you’re meant to be.  You see, each one of us is here for a specific purpose, and the more we can live out this purpose, the happier we become, and the better we fill in the piece of the puzzle we’re meant to fill in.  Each one of us is a vital piece of the whole puzzle, that is, the whole world.   The better we can step up to the plate and live our life as it’s meant to be, the more we happy we are and the more we contribute to the whole.

Here are two tips to listening to inner guidance

• go by how you’re feeling about something.  If you feel excited about an idea, a project, an event or inspiration, this likely that you’re meant to do it.   If it’s something that feels like a burden, or you feel bored, honor that feeling and don’t do it.

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• When you’re out and about, be aware of how you feel in relation to the environment or situation you’re in. Be aware of any messages or inspiration you may receive.  This is your inner guidance, also known as intuition, is talking to you.