Category: Brief Empowering Articles

5 Signs You Have Low Self-Confidence

 

1. You’re afraid someone will find out about a little mistake – When a person has low self-confidence, they don’t want others to think badly of them, and one way this is demonstrated is a fear others will find out they made a mistake.

 

2. You don’t like to take a chance on doing something that’s outside your comfort zone – One reason for this is because you’re afraid you might fail, and that hurts your already low self-esteem or confidence.

 

3. You’re afraid to share your opinion – Because, if you do, you’re afraid someone may not like it, and you don’t want rejection.

 

4. You’re a people pleaser – You do your best to be sure others like you, because, again, you don’t want to be rejected.

 

5. You’re self-critical – You tend to beat yourself up, berate yourself, and just overall have negative self-talk.

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See below for two tools to assist you in gaining a higher level of self-confidence, and also be sure to look for next month’s article!.

 

What you can do about raising your self-confidence.

 

1. Start appreciating the skills and gifts you have! Take an inventory of these, then sincerely feel some appreciation for yourself, several times a day.  This has a magic way of building more “feel good” feelings about what you already have, which then helps you realize you DO have value!

 

2. Become aware of how you talk to yourself. You may be surprised to see how often you have negative language. Choose to use positive self-talk instead.   Certainly this may be easier said than done, but AWARENESS is the key!  Once you are aware, then you can easier change the old habits of self-criticism, and replace with more positive self-talk.

I would love to hear your comments.  Feel free to share here with us!

 

 

It’s absolutely necessary (and NOT egotistical!) to know your value and also your contribution to your family and friends, to your community and also to the whole of humanity!  You’re an important and needed piece of the puzzle of humanity.  Building your self-confidence will support you knowing and living this.

We all have our own personal piece of the puzzle, with our unique combination of gifts and skills and personality traits.  This contributes to the intricacies of the whole, whether it’s the whole of a community we live in, the whole of our family or the whole of the planet.

There is a synergy that emerges as a result of all people interacting with one another, where they’re showing up contributing their own pieces of the puzzle.  Building our self-confidence, getting to know ourselves better and honoring who we are assists in claiming our knowing that we are an important component of all life.  This is also a great way to better understand that we’re all interconnected with each other and with all of life.

Claim your greatness and continue to build your self-confidence!
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Your comments are valuable.  Share with us here your thoughts on this article.

 

 

Share your comments here with us!

Up until about twenty years ago, I used to beat myself up all the time.  I’d be so critical of myself when I’d make a mistake, or I’d think I didn’t say the right thing, or I regretted making a decision, or I didn’t have confidence to make the changes I wanted to make.   Can you relate?  Most of us can.

Well, think about it:   how does self-criticism make you feel?  You feel worse, right?!  And it doesn’t take away the mistake, or the regret or the not-making-the-right-decision scenario.

So, what do you do?!  Well, start being kind and also compassionate with yourself.  Yes, learn from your mistake and do what you can to avoid it in the future.  Realize that the decision you made was what you felt was the best at that time.  Learn to live in the present moment, after all you can’t change the past!  And you can worry about the future, but that doesn’t do any good either!
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Also, if you feel you need to forgive yourself, then do.  Forgiving yourself demonstrates to yourself that you’re able to deal with your life’s issues, and shows that you can move beyond that which you’re forgiving yourself for.  You’ll feel better, lighten the load, and another benefit is that you’ll have  increased confidence.  Now that’s an empowering thought, isn’t it?!  Share your comments here.  I’d love to hear your wisdom!

Here’s to your confidence, authenticity and joy!

Changing Perspective by Calming Down

Just last week, when I tried to upload an audio I just finished and realized it was too large to upload to my contractor for adding music to it, I found myself fearful.  Ah!  What a great time for me to practice what I preach!

I observed my being nervous about not knowing how to make the file smaller.  Then I remembered the week before receiving advice from a friend on how to make an audio file smaller.   But I thought, I don’t know how to do this within iTunes.   So, I stepped away from the computer, into my mediation chair.  I got myself centered and meditated for about five minutes and calmed down and also told myself encouraging words.

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I was in a much better perspective and felt that I can do this, so I went into ITunes, and woh la!  Wow!  In no time, I figured out how to make the audio smaller!  YEA!  I successfully uploaded the audio file to my contractor and he’s now adding beautiful music to the meditation portion of this audio.

What a powerful reminder to calm down and get centered, so we can approach something from more confidence and courage!

Ahh!   Spring time is here!  You’re probably as excited as I am about this!  It’s a time of rebirth, creativity and planting seeds for our lives.  It can be a time of being inspired for new ideas and planting seeds for new growth in our lives.  One of those seeds can be discovering a new tool or strategy for gaining confidence to make the change in your life you’ve been putting off, or feel stuck about.

So, here’s a tool for you:  Write down three action steps you can start taking to go towards that change you desire to make. You see, there’s something quite powerful in the act of writing.  It allows you to see the words you’ve written, and it helps to clear your mind.  And, by writing down action steps, you assist yourself in setting an intention.

Another useful tool to use is to tap into your intuition.

Inner guidance, our intuition, always steers you in the right direction and what better way then to encourage yourself into taking action towards that big project or career change?  When you take action and see that it works out, you build efficacy.  You gain confidence that yes, you CAN achieve what you take action on.

When you listen and follow your inner guidance, you’re better equipped to be in alignment with who you’re meant to be.  You see, each one of us is here for a specific purpose, and the more we can live out this purpose, the happier we become, and the better we fill in the piece of the puzzle we’re meant to fill in.  Each one of us is a vital piece of the whole puzzle, that is, the whole world.   The better we can step up to the plate and live our life as it’s meant to be, the more we happy we are and the more we contribute to the whole.

Here are two tips to listening to inner guidance

• go by how you’re feeling about something.  If you feel excited about an idea, a project, an event or inspiration, this likely that you’re meant to do it.   If it’s something that feels like a burden, or you feel bored, honor that feeling and don’t do it.

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• When you’re out and about, be aware of how you feel in relation to the environment or situation you’re in. Be aware of any messages or inspiration you may receive.  This is your inner guidance, also known as intuition, is talking to you.

 

I remember way back, about twenty years ago, when I made a decision to accept a job that I actually didn’t really want.  I distinctly remember FEELING a strong inner guidance, my intuition, to not take it.

I ignored that inner guidance.

As a result, I found myself unhappy there, and ended up being laid off about six months later.

I learned a huge lesson from this!  I realized that it’s best to listen to my intuition!  And, I began to listen to my inner guidance more.  As I did, I started to build trust in myself and I gained more self-confidence in my own decision making in the years that followed this work experience.

Building self-confidence and also building confidence to take on a huge project or life change, is amplified by choosing to trust that you ARE making the right decisions and ARE taking the right action steps.  After all, aren’t you always doing the best you can and making choices based on the circumstances presented to you at the time of your decision-making?!

And by the way, choosing to trust you ARE making the right decisions is especially amplified when you listen to your inner guidance, rather than your fearful which always yields the best outcome.  Take note that inner guidance is different than your ego talking.

What’s the difference between your inner guidance and your ego?    The difference is in the tone of voice.  Your inner guidance’s voice is kind, gentle and loving.  You’ll feel more calm listening to it.   Your ego’s voice is critical, demanding and/or fearful.  You’ll likely not feel good.  So, next time you’re hearing your inner voice, ask yourself from which tone of voice is it speaking?
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A question for you to ponder:  How many times do you listen to that fearful voice, the ego?  Or, do you listen – follow  – your inner guidance instead?

Here’s a tip on how to listen to your inner guidance/intuition/gut feeling:

If you’re hearing your inner voice say words such as “You have to…………”, “You’d better………” or “If you don’t do this, then something bad will happen……..”, it’s likely your ego and fear talking.  Recognize how you FEEL when you hear this.  Be willing to contemplate on this to see what you’re worried or fearful about.

If the inner voice is sharing with you something like “You can choose to create a better relationship when you speak to him……..”, or “You may consider taking this job offer…..”.  And take note on how your FEEL when you’re “hearing” your guidance!

Share with us here:  When did you listen to your inner guidance, and how did you FEEL?

Namaste,

Kate Heartsong

How you show up today, which includes your current beliefs, self-esteem, values, perspective of the world and so on, is mainly a result of your programming from childhood.   The good news is, because of our ability to be programmable, we can RE-program ourselves!  

How?  One way is to visualize and FEEL into what you want to create in your life!

You may want to check out Dr. Joe Dispenza, who’s an internationally known scientist and speaker on, among other topics, how our brain is programmed.  His first book, Evolve Your Brain, talks about the science of changing your mind (which is the subtitle of this insightful book).

I love Dr. Dispenza’s phrase “neurons that fire together, wire together”.  This means that through repeating the same thoughts, having strong feelings about something, having a traumatic or significant experience, and/or hearing the same phrases from your parents or teachers, that neural pathways are created.  These get simulated later through an outside trigger or similar experience, and then you react to this.   When you do, it fires those neural pathways.  This is the science behind our actions, reactions, beliefs, perspectives and so on.
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In order to reprogram yourself, one thing you can do is create new neural pathways.  This can be done through visualizing with intention and feeling, for example.

Make a comment here.  I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts !

 

We are like a pitcher of water:

When we pour from our pitcher to many people, eventually our pitcher gets empty. How are we to continue to give unless we fill ourselves up once again?

It’s so important to remember to give to yourself as well as others! We feel better by giving to ourselves and so our sense of empowerment and confidence grows too !

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Here is an example of what I do to “fill up my pitcher” so I may continue giving:  I take about one hour each morning to meditate, enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee and read inspirational material.

I’d love to hear from you!  Write here your comment on how you replenish yourself.